Perlu ke bercinta?

As the topic in malay, so I like to write about it in Malay...

Hari ini aku nak tulis dalam bahasa melayu.. topik paling hot dalam kalangan single2 yg nk couple, ataupun, yg pernah couple tp clash (mcm aku).. huhu. Anyway, balik pada topik yg aku nak luahkan pada hari ni, malam ni. Aku nak ceritakan pengalaman aku sendiri, perasaan aku sendiri..


Aku dilahirkan sebagai anak tunggal, masa umur 5 tahun, abah aku meninggal. So aku membesar hanya dengan kasih sayang mak (SAYANG MAK!). Hidup aku nampak normal, tapi sebenarnya dari segi psikologi, aku kekurangan kasih sayang dari seorg lelaki (abah aku la).... aku hanya membesar dengan kasih sayang seorang perempuan... nampak macam tak bersyukur aje kan? Tapi renungkan secara psikologinya, anak2 perlu membesar dengan kedua ibu bapa... so renung2kan.. lau tak faham, buat2 faham...


Anyway, akibat dari sejarah hidup aku yang begitu, maka aku sangat la tak pandai bergaul dengan lelaki, time sekolah, aku tak pernah suka kawan ngan laki... lagi2 diorg suka sgt ejek aku... buli aku, kacau aku, lagi laaaaaaaaaa aku TAK SUKA.. Akibat sikap aku lah, aku tak de kawan laki, in fact takde kawan sgt pon... best fren jauh sekali...


So, pekara ni berterusan sampai time sekolah menengah... Aku tak pernah ada bestfren, sampailah aku form 4, mase tu aku kenal ngn sorg bdk prempuan ni... nama dia? dirahsiakan... dia la secara tak langsung ajar aku mcmne nak kwn ngn dak laki. So dari situ la, aku start mengenali dunia lelaki mcmne... dan dari situ la start ak rse nak men cintan cintun ni.... wahaha, lawak btul time tu...


Masuk je matrik, mcm2 cabaran yg dtg... godaan yg pling besar ade lah bile tgk org kapel, mcm best aje... pastu renung diri sendiri, knapa takde org nak ajak aku kapel? tak lawa ke aku? tak cantik ke aku? Bodoh disitu, tp tu la ape yg aku rse.... Mule la mse tu ak minat kat bdk stu praktikum ngn aku... Mse tu aku tak pndai lagi nak cover2 kan, so satu praktikum tahu! Damn... malu gila.. but aku blajar dari kesilapan tu... The best part mse matrik, ak dpt best fren laki, for the first time... nmenye? RAHSIA...


Keinginan ntuk kapel, makin terasa bile dah msuk U... Bak kate cikgu2 sekolah aku, nak bercinta, cari yg U.. So dgn amanat ckgu aku, chewah! ak pun meneruskan misi cari pakwe@ bakal suami.. hahaha poyo.... Ttbe, pada sem ke 2, cosmate aku ngaku suka kat aku, dan finally, aku couple... Tapi, hidup tak selalunya indah, mule2 best, tp lme2 like hell, dy da la suke mengongkong aku.. cemburu buta... ttbe aku rase mnyesal, mcm ni ke kapel?? mcm HELL... so at the end, aku decide ntuk PUTUS.... so berakhrla cerita 'cinta' aku...


Actually, pnjg lg citernye, tp biar la mcm ni je...


So, pointnye disini, bile kte couple, kte akn rse nk single... ble kite dah single... terasa la plak nak couple.. serius, ape yg aku rse skrg ni......
Pada aku, bile bercinta.. kite kene bersedia untuk sakit... Love is the best pain... You hate it, but at the same time, you want it so badly.... 
Kadang2 bile aku renungkan, ade hikmahnye kenapa agama kita ajar kita bercinta lepas nikah..


Nasihat untuk kawan2 yang belum pernah couple... JANGAN COUPLE..... Bercinta lepas nikah k? lagi selamat..

Complex and Ungrateful

Today is a very busy day... Today, I realize that, finally realize that, I am a complex person, cannot be defined easily, cannot be understand simply. Wow, that shocked me, truly. All these years, almost 21 years I lived, I feel that, I am just an ordinary girl, just girl next door, but seems that, not all people surrounding me know who am I. Hmm... My supervisor had problems with me, she thinks that I am not interested to follow her, to her with her works because of my attitude. She took me wrong. I feel miserable because of that. I am actually an open person, very 'do not mind' person. Huh, I guess, nobody can understand everyone perfectly. And, I have learned my lesson.

Ungrateful... of course it is NOT ME. It is about my friend's girlfriend. I sincerely feel that, his girlfriend is so much attitude!! So spoil brat!! She do not deserve such a very generous man like my friend. I feel sorry for him, to love someone who actually take advantage of him..... and he does not realize that! For GOD sake, I hope that he will realize that he love wrong person... he devoted his love to the wrong girl! Hopefully, he will not marry her.....

Wrong Time

Here I come again... writing my opinion and what I feel.... And that is why Feel My Heart is created...


Back to the topic, Wrong Time. Why? I'm pretty sure that you ever have crush for someone, but unfortunately, he/she already have special one. Definitely, you will be so frustrated it is? Well, for some people, they will tend to get that person whatever is cost, including make them separated. That is so mean! You can do that, you can get the person to be with you, but REMEMBER, you will not get the love, NEVER....


As for me, I ALWAYS have crush with somebody who already had a girlfriend. Unfortunate.. and I feel little bit disappointing. But, I will not interfere with their relationship, and decide to become his friend. Sometimes, I feel that, I meet them on wrong time.... Its too late, I meet with him... and I guess, this is my fate..


You know, in this life, you will meet anyone everyday. We actually do not realize that, we make friends, lovers with these people that we met. Perhaps, you already met your future spouse, during your way to mall? Or, actually your spouse was your schoolmate that you always seen him/her at your school canteen? Have ever think that your spouse is actually your best friend? These things are reality. It will happen to all of us, including me. What I am trying to say that, although you had crushed with someone that already in relationship, just forget about it. You will definitely have someone one day. It just little bit late from your friends.


God will always meet us with the wrong person at wrong time, but trust me, HE purposely do that, so we will appreciate the true one, the one that really loves you and can die for you.

Love is WEIRD

Have you ever think that you will fall in love with somebody who unexpected? And are want that kind of crush? For me, this kind of love is much more interesting rather than usual one. Always together, but you dont realize that you starts to fall for her/him.... Then, conflicts occur until finally both of you accept the truth. Or, in other case, unexpected marriage proposal from someone that you even not know, your family insists the marriage and you have no choice but to marry. Then, suddenly, you fall in love for him/her after a while.. Weird, but TRUE

Love cannot be define. It depends on your perspective. Although, I had a boyfriend before, but still I believe that I never fall in love. Until we separated, I felt nothing. I may easily like someone, but to love? hard. That is why I feel that love is WEIRD. I very much hoping that, one day this heart truly love someone who truly deserve.